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Giving It One-Hundred and Ten Percent @ Twenty-Five Seven Industries

Left it all on the field today, coach

“Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to distort the truth intentionally, he is ready to deny the evidence of his senses only to justify his logic”

 –Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Well they’ve done it again!  Who’s done what?  You might be inquiring internally.  The folks who brought us such mind-numbing gems like “giving it one-hundred-ten percent (110%)”, and other nonsensical B.S. phrases, have decided to open a security firm.  The Name is twenty-five/seven (25/7) Protection Security Super Store…like nails on a chalkboard.  I don’t know if it was the exact same people, but I hate to think I live in a world where there are multiple factions of people who fail to understand the most basic concepts of logic.  Why does this bother me?  It bothers me because I’m an elitist, who is easily disturbed.

While it is true that I am easily disturbed by lapses in judgment (not my own lapses, or yours, but other people’s), it is truly a troubling premise that divorcing oneself of simple logic is a valid way of describing oneself as a hard worker.  “I may not do the heavy-lifting when it comes to thinking, but what I leave on the court more than makes up for it, don’t you think, coach?”  In the world of sports, I’ve only found this idea mildly disturbing because there is no need to cry over spilt milk, as they say.  How high do you really want to set that bar?  If a baseball player wants to claim that he gave one-hundred-ten percent (110%) on the field I can allow for it.  Chances are it is not the dumbest thing he’s said all day…probably.  But, this is the name of a company.  Not just a slogan someone mistakenly thought was clever.  It is the name of the company…with commercials and an internets site and everything.

Seriously, are these the individuals you want offering you security?  “How many hours are there in a day?”  “There are twenty-four (24) hours in a day.”  “Well, in order to get your business, we’re willing to work twenty-five (25) of those hours…and that’s every day.”  “Well there are seven (7) days in a week, are you willing to work eight (8) of those?”  “Don’t be an idiot, we can only work seven (7) of those, but we guarantee to give you one-hundred-ten (110) percent during those seven (7) days.”  Clearly, these peeps are not Beatles’ fans, and maybe that’s why I’m feeling charitable.

In their defense, calling your company twenty-four/eight (24/8) Protection looks like a division problem whose answer is three (3), and that does little to help one feel secure.  But, there is another solution: twenty-four/seven (24/7) Protection…you boys can have that for free.

I also find it a bit problematic that people think so highly of their work ethic that it requires a hypothetical measurement of both time and effort.  Superheroes can give one-hundred (100) percent.  They do this because they’re special.  Regular people are good for around seventy-five (75) percent…driven, ambitious, regular people; regular people who’ve something to prove (probably because of an unfortunate choice of names that they received at birth for which they must spend their lives over-compensating)…not me.  The bulk of us give around sixty-two (62) percent, according to sources.  Those numbers are true…you can take them to the bank.  Chances are they will be the truest numbers at said bank…yeah that just happened, Bank of America.  But consider this the next time you hear an athlete claim to have given one-hundred-ten (110) percent on the substrate they use to perform, they said that using zero (0) percent of their brain, so how does that math work out?


About pats0

Pats0 is a writer who is informed by a punk-rock ethos, and a hatred for group-think. He is the founding member of The Pirate-Clown Guild of Free-Thinkers, an aegis from under which he soils the internet with his thoughts. Welcome.

One response to “Giving It One-Hundred and Ten Percent @ Twenty-Five Seven Industries

  1. Stephen

    I thought I’d already commented on this post. I enjoyed it. Thoroughly.
    “I may not do the heavy-lifting when it comes to thinking, but what I leave on the court more than makes up for it, don’t you think, coach?” <– Yes, this is probably not the best mission statement for any company.
    Lastly, that is perhaps the sweetest mustache/mullet combo I've ever seen. I have a new hero.


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