These last few months have been marked by introspection, some of my own volition, some motivated by the Holy Spirit. The latter has been more useful in my pursuit of godliness…clearly. I’ve learned that I’ve a problem with idolatry. My idol of choice…me. Those of you who know me might think this is a strange choice, and if you were idol shopping you would probably look for one that would make a better statue. I would agree, I am in no position to defend my idol from a logical standpoint. This introspection has not been of the unhealthy sort, least wise not the part motivated by the Holy Spirit, but it is not always pleasant either. Looking over past behaviors, and making realizations about why it is that I hurt people who trust me is a dirty business, and painful when done with honesty in one’s heart. Even now I am dealing with the consequences of hurting my family and a family whom I care about a great deal. This is all still in the stages of my trying to understand why I do what I do. There is, however, good news in all of this. The God who saves, also changes the hearts of willing men and women. Redemption is real. I will be writing about this after I’ve taken some time to process the narrative myself. It is, after all, just part of the story God is developing in my life.
In the weeks coming, my blog will change in direction from what has been its theme thus far. My plan is to write a short story that has been kicking around in my head for years. The parameters I’ve set for myself on this project are different from my previous posts. Before I was determined to keep my posts to 1000 words or less, and to stay on the schedule of a new post once a week, to be published by Thursday. My new plan is to write chapters of approximately 1000 words to be published at a rate of one chapter on Monday and another on Thursday. This new format will be a little harder for me to do, and will require more self-discipline, and will possess a higher propensity toward failure…but you know what they say…neither do I, but hopefully it is wise and apropos.
I guess what I’m trying to convey is that change is coming, and one thing I’ve noticed about change in my life is: The more things change…the more I look forward to them changing.